Start noticing the thoughts, judgements, comparisons and stories running through your mind, and become more aware of the voice narrating your experience.

Explore what you want, why you want it, and what achieving it — or not achieving it — would mean about you.

Explore how you want other people to see you, why their perception matters, and what you may have given the job of making you feel enough.

Separate what actually happened from the meaning your mind added, and see how that meaning shapes your experience.

Slow your reactions down and uncover the chain from event to thought, meaning, feeling and action.

Map the behaviours you actually use and explore what you may be trying to get, protect, prove or avoid through them.

Trace the beliefs and rules already showing up in your life back to where you learned them, what reinforced them and whether you ever consciously chose them.

See what a belief gives you, what it costs you and what it leads you to do — then explore whether the things attached to it are things you genuinely want, need to make you something, or both.

With the trade now visible, decide which beliefs you consciously want to keep, which you want to change, and which new ones you might choose to play with.

Step outside one significant rule temporarily and use real life to discover what actually happens when you choose differently.

Take the work into your relationships: understand your reaction, own what is happening on your side, communicate it clearly and allow the other person to have theirs.

Bring the journey together, ask what you actually want now, and leave with a practical way to keep noticing, choosing and playing.